Ode to a Solo Cup

Thou still, plastic symbol of college-life-
Thou bright embodiment of Waste and Excess
littering the yard. what canst thou express
more sweetly than a tale of post-midnight techno music:
What academic scholars by day, ravers by night
Clasp their fingers about thy shape,
In Frat houses or behind the sidewalks of my street?
What mixed drinks are these? What cheap beers fill?
What wild pursuits? What memories forgotten?
What Gaga song will they dance to next?
Heard rap mixes are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter; therefore, ye blaring stereos, play on;
Not in the house next door, but, more distanced,
Like far down yonder street and away from mine window:
Fair youth, under strobe lights, thou canst not leave
Thy party, nor ever wear an outfit from last weekend;
Intoxicated Friend, never, never canst thou vomit
for you will be asked to leave; yet, do not grieve;
Fun times cannot fade, except for in the morn,
Hours your head will pound, resting Solo cups still on the ground!
Ah, happy, happy trashcans! that cannot hold
Your rimmed-sides crushed, nor ever bid the evening adieu;
And, among happy bed-heads, nauseated,
For ever fated to decompose right there;
More happy trash! more happy, happy trash!
For ever your sight leaves one to be annoy'd,
For ever rotting, and for ever red;
All smelling of sour liquor,
That leaves a nose high-sorrowful,
A burning, and a keg still on the porch.
O Knowing Cup! O Strange Litter! with shots
From college parties over-flowing,
Thrown amongst forest branches and the trodden weed;
Thou, silent transporter! dost tease me with cynical thoughts
As doth other minor youthful annoyances: Drunken Stereotype!
When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, probably still in mine neighbor's yard
And we together, shall hear to whom thou say'st,
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—now will you guys start using Dixie Cups
because I am done being associated with beer pong.'

(highly inspired by Ode on a Grecian Urn by Keats, and also by the abundance of red Solo cups scattering the yard next to ours)