FINALS SURVIVAL part one: some biblical encouragement

It's exam time again, my friends. If you're anything like me, this season of life is not a very joyous one. In fact, to boil right down to it, any period of excessive school work usually results in me not having very much grace for myself.

Do you know what I mean? Sometimes being in college is frustrating. I'm not entirely sure that I'm a very academic person, and dang, let's be honest - people here at UVa are SMART. I love learning new things, and I enjoy what I study, but that doesn't always translate into A+'s the way it seems to for a lot of my friends. As a result, I feel like a failure during exams. I feel like no matter what I do, I'm never going to get the grade I want or the grade that is "good" in the eyes of my classmates. And I allow myself to have thoughts that dwell on my inabilities and shortcomings, and I translate those academic woes into more general thoughts of the ways I fail in regards to every other aspect of my life.

but last night, I had a thought about all of this that put things into perspective: who the heck do I think I am? How in the world do I think that I have the right to extend such little grace to myself?

This idea of grace was talked about at XA last night, and it hit me in light of the week and half coming up. When we think of ourselves as failures, when we dwell on it and refuse to forgive ourselves, we aren't seeing ourselves the way Christ sees us. And there is a problem with that.

The last picture we get of Jesus at the end of John kind of blows my mind. He appears to his disciples, who are out on the lake fishing. What is particularly astounding is his interaction with Peter. Peter certainly screwed up. In fact, some might call him a failure for his three-time denial of Jesus. And yet, the grace that is extended to him through Christ is HUGE. Three things are incredible about this scene:
1) Peter runs for the Lord. He knows he screwed up, but what he knows more than that is how desperately he needs grace. He is desperate for it, starving for it, in the exact same way that we all are.
2) Jesus asks Peter if he loves him three times. Peter denied the Lord three times, and in return, Jesus gave him a chance to redeem himself three times, he gave him three more chances to say what he should have said the first time.
3) Instead of dwelling in the past failure, Jesus starts a fire and cooks their fish. Jesus could have been angry at Peter, but he wasn't. He didn't dwell on Peter's identity as a failure (so why do we let ourselves do that?) Rather, he immediately began reworking Peter into someone destined to glorify God.

I say this to you as much as I say it to myself. Don't you dare condemn yourself. There is no room for that in the gospel.

Whether it be feeling like a failure in exams, or your job, or in relationships, or anything else - don't dwell in it. You're going to fail at something or another because you are human and that is what we do. So when you're kicking yourself, cut it out. You are starving for grace, so recognize that first. Be hungry for it, greedy for it, humble enough to ask for it in abundance.

And then think about this:
In all of those moments when you are beating yourself up for some failure or another, someone is cooking you breakfast on the beach.


what joy.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Em, gosh do I love you! What a great, great, great post - you are wise beyond your years hon! Good luck with finals, have fun in Nica, and I can't WAIT to see you in Wton this summer! Love you!

Auna said...

another fun aspect of that story at the end of john (which out pastor shared at cfa a few weeks ago) is that Jesus asks peter if he loves him when they're standing around the FIRE. the last time peter was standing around a fire, he denied Jesus thrice. it's like Jesus is not only giving peter a chance to say what he should have before, but He is recreating the scene, almost as if to rewrite history =) so cool!

thanks for sharing, emily! you're a rock star!

Post a Comment