the three words you should never say to a cashier

I think (or at least would like to think) that I'm a fairly affectionate person. I like for the people in my life to know that I care about them, and so I tell them. I grew up in a family where we'd never leave the house, go to bed, or hang up the phone without saying "I love you". Those are three words I use pretty regularly because there are so many people in my life that I deeply, truly love. I never thought it was a phrase you could use too much, until yesterday.

I was in the bookstore, quickly picking up some things that I forgot to buy earlier that day. As I was checking out, I got a phone call from a friend. I answered and asked if I could call them back later because I was about to finish paying for my books, and gave my standard farewell of "OK bye! Love you!" Immediately after hanging up, the cashier, a smiling middle-aged woman, handed me my bag and told me to have a good day. My response was "OK bye! Love you!"

It took me about one second to realize that what had slipped out of my mouth was not something you should say to a person whose only role in your life is handing you your receipt. I looked at her and just started laughing and apologizing. It truly is hilarious to me that I manage to orchestrate so many strange, embarrassing situations for myself.

The whole thing had me thinking about those three words. Our society is so goofy about them. I've seen countless romantic comedies/TV shows where the main couple has been together for a really long time - they live together, sleep together, share their lives, act like they are married - but they are terrified of actually saying that they love each other. Typically, one of the main characters will say it and then the other character will be like "whoa whoa whoa! I don't know if I love you, exactly." And then there is some dramatic scene where it's raining and they are left to question their very existence and some sad orchestra music plays. Maybe I'm naive, but is it really that hard? Is it really such a terrifying thing to tell someone?

Then there is a whole other side of it. I've already confessed in a previous post that (against my will, I swear!) I started watching the Bachelor. It cracks me up that these women meet the bachelor and then in their interviews like 20 seconds later are like "Oh my gosh, he is definitely the one. I can't wait until we are married!!" They seem ready to say "I love you" before they've even gotten to know who this guy really is.

So maybe there is a balance to walk in terms of expressing affection. I guess if people over-used the term "I love you", those words wouldn't really matter very much. But then again, holding back from saying it seems pretty tragic, too.

I think of yesterday when I was flustered after my awkward interaction with the cashier. When I was trying to apologize, she just threw her head back laughing and said "Honey, that's something you can never hear too much!" And maybe that's true. Nothing feels better than being told that you are loved. So I don't think I'll try to hold back from using those three words after all. And maybe you shouldn't either. Just say it - someone can't wait to hear it.