true life: I'm an idiot gringa

Here's a brief funny story from Nicaragua, because you were probably expecting something along these lines.

One sunny glorious day in Nica, our group picked up a bunch of darling Nicaraguan children from La Chureca and took them to a swimming pool. I found myself playing with 9-year-old Domingo, and I was trying to teach him how to float on his back. I'd demonstrate it myself, show him how he needed to relax his whole body, told him to treat the water like it was just a cloud or a comfy water-bed that could rest his whole weight on.

But he was afraid. He would tense up and then start sinking. And so I thought that I should comfort him as much as I could, make sure he felt safe and secure. I put my hand on his back, looked him gently in the eyes, and told him over and over again not to be afraid. Well, I thought that was what I was telling him.

In Spanish, to say "don't be afraid", you would say "don't have fear", and the word FEAR is "miedo". However, in my flawed and limited vocabulary, I thought that there was an "r" somewhere in that word, and also an "a" at the end.

So what I was saying instead of "miedo" was "mierda".

And for those of you who aren't already doubled over in horrified laughter, "mierda" means "shit".

Don't have shit, Domingo.

Not quite the tone of comfort I was going for. No wonder he never caught on.